Back to the books! er. Book…

I do believe I’ve touched on this before and have admitted that the blog has… well, it hasn’t run off the rails… more like it ended up on another track at the switching station. Well, I believe that we’re at the next switching station and it’s time to re-join the original track. Partially inspired by Bob’s post on his discovery of being a writer (thanks brother), and partially finally kicking MYSELF in the ass to make something happen in terms of the book I began to write oh so many months ago….

Before I began to write this book, life had taken a downward turn. Now it wasn’t all doom and gloom with loss of family or serious health complications, but I had been in a rut in terms of self image and it was time to change things for the good.

My original purpose for writing this book was to help myself develop my perceived Poor Self Image (PSI) into a GREAT Self Image (GSI) and the best way to learn is to teach. I came with the idea that in order to cure my PSI, writing a book about the land mines we have all faced throughout our lives (have been completely unaware of), would be the best way to do this.

The challenge with this I quickly discovered was that I had to maintain a PSI in order to be ‘someone with a PSI, writing a book to later travel and teach about it! I would actually have to maintain a PSI in order to be such an author. After realizing this, and realizing that I couldn’t actually help anyone deal with their PSI if I didn’t help myself, I quickly had to change the image I had of myself.

So here is the catch, I had a perceived PSI and yet was on a path of discovery to understand and improve this. I needed to write this book, but my current PSI was not congruent of someone who COULD write this book. Quite the predicament I seemed to have gotten myself into.

If you had the image of someone who has a PSI trying to write a book to solve your ‘problems’, are you not in fact propagating your own PSI? Sure, I could maintain the self image of someone who is overcoming their poor self image and will have a great self image by the time the book is finished – but wouldn’t it be faster to actually start with a great self image? Would the self image of one who is an educator, writing a book to help others to be used as gateway for a path of speaking and teaching not a better self image?

I guess this is the entire point of the whole book: be aware.

Something as simple as writing a book from the perspective of someone with a PSI, would on the outside seem like a great idea, however, to do it one would have to maintain the image of someone with a PSI. Something so innocent is in fact detrimental to helping understand and change a PSI. So when I say ‘be aware’ I mean exactly that – you have unknowingly wandered into the middle of a mine field and NOW you are aware of it. At this point you don’t know how big it is, how many mines are there, who put them there (or who allowed them to be put there), let alone how to get out without loosing something, and likely, something important!

The first ‘smack upside the head’ and the catalyst for this entire book came when I heard the phrase “Treat others like you would like to be treated”. You’ve likely heard it quite a bit as it is the proverbial ‘Golden Rule’ taught to us as children and brought back time and time again to reinforce a point of relating to others (and be nice damn it!).

The reality is that this simple phrase is the biggest load of crap and quite possibly the worst thing you could ever, believe, preach, or even teach to someone else.

If you did not have an ideal self image, and in fact had a PSI, and held to the belief that you should treat everyone as you would like to be treated, how would you go about treating others? Does someone with a poor self image expect to be treated like the unique and talented individual they actually are? If not, how are they likely to treat others? Does ANYONE win at this point, and does this not propagate the whole challenge with PSI?

Starts to make you wonder what other little statements which SEEM like good advice are actually detrimental to your self image, doesn’t it? We won’t dive deeply into this part right now as future posts (and Chapter 2) will deal with the specifics, however, it is just simply good to be aware of these statements as we move forward.

Ok, so there we have the first post of a blog back on track. It’s a bit rough around the edges still as it was part of a larger concept that I worked on a while back, however, the point is that a step has been taken. *whew* Ok, what’s next? Oh, right, step 2.. 3…. 4…. … 😉

Photo by Andrew Pescod

5 thoughts on “Back to the books! er. Book…

  1. Tully, I think I understand where you’re coming from and I think I understand where you’re going to.

    But another way of thinking about it (writing about PSI and how to turn that into GSI) would be (IMHO and self-experience – wrote a book about my/our PSI ‘time’) to ‘learn’, even memorise from the PSI time and reflecting on it while writing it down as a GSI.

    (Doesn’t really make sense, does it?, sorry , very hard – difficult subject to make clear on paper)

  2. Hi Karin, yes, actually it does make sense. It’s really a matter of being able to recognize PSI traits yet not live them… I have a slightly analytical mind, so I’ve essentially just turned it on and let it analyze the crap out of PSI. This way I can still stay detached, yet observant. I’ve already got some great stuff which I’ve been building on for some time now and it’s just a matter of getting it into the blog – all rather exciting.

    (now I have to go back to Liz’s advice she gave me months ago on organizing the blog to actually help the book in the future… 😉 )

  3. There were two lines in particular in this blog that jumped off the page at me. “Treat others like you would like to be treated” and “The reality is that this simple phrase is the biggest load of crap and quite possibly the worst thing you could ever, believe, preach, or even teach to someone else.”
    PSI has nothing to do with how you treat others, PSI has everything to do with how you treat others. PSI has alot to do with feelings of worth and deservedness. There are those with PSI who truly believe they are not worthy or deserving of being treated kindly, or with respect, and are uncomfortable with & unsure how to receive kind words/gestures.
    As someone who has struggled with PSI, I still knew how I WANTED to be treated, with respect. My PSI was as a result of how I had previously been treated that I allowed myself to buy into. Based on how I allowed others to make me feel, in no way was I going to intentionally do anything to cause or contribute to anothers PSI. So you see I did and continue to treat others how I WANT to be treated and I DO teach it to my children!!

  4. I believe there is a fantastic distinction in what you say which fits what I think I was trying to get at: when we are not AWARE of our PSI, or accept it as fact, the whole ‘treat others like..’ IS in fact dead wrong. When we understand that our self image is pretty poor AND WE TAKE STEPS TOWARDS improving it, absolutely, we begin to actually treat others like we would like to, in a positive way.

    It’s the whole growth vs. decay – those in a growth mode LIVE completely different than those in a decay mode, and dare I say, to a point where we have a challenge relating to those in a decay mode… For protection, this is a good thing, for empathy (or is it sympathy… DAMN YOU CHRIS! Oh wait, sym as in symbiotic, to join – ok, it’s empahty) it can pose a challenge..

    Fantastic refinement and distinction Judy!

    (see? commenting wasn’t so hard.. welcome to the other world of discussion! Glad you could make it 🙂 )

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