LOGICal eMOTIONs

What to do with a free bag of fortune cookies…

// November 5th, 2007 // Blog & Tech Items, Brain Dump

Fortune comes to us in many different forms, does it not? This particular time it happens to be of the cookie variety.

We’re talking about “Wing’s Fortune Cookies” (aka. “Wing’s Biscuits Bonne Aventure” for those playing along in French), made by Wing’s Food Products of Toronto, Ontario! No, not some cheap cookie knock-off, no, true and honest Wing’s! But wait – are there actually other manufacturers of fortune cookies? It would seem logical, but it would be like discovering there are varieties of soy sauce other than Kikkoman… Weird…

So how does one come into a free bag of fortune cookies? Well it’s really quite simple… See, my parents had a small gathering at their house last night (aunts and uncles only), and when numbers increase beyond say 4 people, my mother becomes busy and gets my father to do the food ordering. The challenge there is that being a big fan of the local Chinese food establishment in the neighboring town, my father tends to go buck-wild during the ordering process. Then, with dollar signs in their eyes, the Chinese food people stuff the take-out order with handfuls and handfuls of “value add” fortune cookies. Add in the assumption that the amount of food ordered must be for about 30 people, when in reality it’s 6, and we now have an explanation for the cookie win fall (not to mention the positive growth in Wing’s Food Product’s profits)…

But the real question remains: what to do with a free bag of fortune cookies?

Perhaps I could pull a Pope meets Santa Claus parade type thing where I fling cookie goodness to screaming children below my balcony. See, the Pope has a balcony, and I have a balcony! There are screaming kids in the streets at a SC parade – I have screaming kids in the streets! Someone is always flinging sugary garbage at said screaming kids during a SC parade – I could be slinging sugary items at screaming kids in the streets! Then, in a moment of clarity (likely the “soya lecithin” hitting the brain) I realized two things:

1. there are screaming children in the streets outside my window
2. the little bastards don’t deserve my fortune-filled generosity

Ok, so nix the balcony idea.

Door to door? No.
Raffle? No.
eBay Auction? No.
Mail to loyal readers? No.
Personal Consumption? Yes!

At first that might just seem like a bad idea, but these things are nearly healthy! Well, nearly.. Really, we’re only talking about some flour, some sugar, some oil (coconut!), some salt, some flavouring, some soya lecithin, some more oil (canola this time), and some colour. That’s it – no mind altering MSG, and no lengthly unpronounceable ingredients developed in a laboratory!

Right, so if I’m going to Hoover down on a bag of fortune cookies, really, it should be for a good cause or something. I know! We could MEME it! Wait. No. Well, we’ve already got the ever popular Wordless Wednesday thing going on, so what about something along that line?

I would like to introduce to you a new and upcoming series here at LOGICal eMOTIONs:

Fortune Cookie Fridays!

That’s right, each Friday I will dive into the endless words of wisdom expertly extracted from the big bag of fortune cookies. No, sadly I’m not going to only eat a cookie each Friday and write about it – I’m actually eating the cookies as I write this and am saving each fortune for future posts. So what’s the fist post going to be? Well, see you on Friday!

Photo by Rick Harris

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