Why change sucks

Ever read a post, a book, an article about why change is good, why it’s challenging, or how to dramatically engage your blah blah to be synchronized with your new mission of blah blah…? Yeah, we’ve all been there. My question is, how many times have you actually read something or heard someone flat out claim:

Change sucks because something is going to clobber you once you start and it’s up to you, and you alone to deal with it.

Well, if you haven’t before, you have now. Change, generally, is a good thing. Change for the sake of change? Bad thing. Small changes = good. Big changes = who the hell knows. The idea is good, doing it is hard, and if something screws up along the way, then it’s bad.

Change is a force, and if we remember anything from high school physics class it’s Newton’s 3rd law of motion (simplified):

“To every action there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

This does explain why change is often de-railed once the process of change has begun. Take for example someone who wants to take control of their financial situation. They go out, buy some books, learn, and start reducing costs, saving, investing – yet what happens shortly there after? A sudden massive expense arrives out of the blue and all the hard work is suddenly dashed in a short period of time. Yes, they were further ahead, they have learned skills that can be duplicated again, and things can be gotten back on track – but it’s up to them. Life suddenly threw a curve-ball at them and future success or failure on their part will be up to them. Another example is when someone decides to take control of their un-healthy lifestyle and do something about it. So what do they do? They start to get up early and excercise, they begin to drink more water, and they start to track their food intake and make better choices. This works for a bit of time until either they suffer an injury or become ill (flu, cold, etc) which disrupts the schedule and takes them out of the game for a period of time. Take the smoker who finally decides to quit once and for all, yet during the same week something highly stressful happens and they’re right back to smoking again.

We can all look around and see this pattern happen for people over and over and over again. But why? Why is there always an equal and opposite reaction – especially when the change is significant? Does it always happen? No idea – but it does happen enough to notice it… Some would say that these are tests to see if you are truly committed to the change that you desire (god, universe, whatever), but why? What possible purpose does it serve? Why not a big challenge at the end of change so that which has changed can directly apply to, and effectively mange the challenge?

It has been said that you’re only supposed to change one thing at a time, for example, stop smoking, but don’t stop smoking, stop drinking, start running marathons, and start eating carrots all at once. Stop one thing for 21 days and develop the habit so that you can move onto the next thing requiring change and that which you have changed is now a habit. Kinda makes sense, however, the clobbering potential still applies regardless of whether or not it’s one change or 10. Changing 10 things at once is to say the least, challenging, however, it is entirely possible. Changing just one thing is also possible, yet depending on what it is can easily equal 10 things.

The point here is regardless of what, why, or how many things you decide to change, beware of the clobbering that is in your future. Yes, if you’re committed to the change(s) then it merely becomes an annoyance or a delay, yet if you happen to have insight as to why it happens (and it will) – do share. 😉

And yes, I’m currently battling a cold after a whole week of working out in the mornings and dramatically improving my intake… Clobbered.

Fortune Cookie Friday

Someone is speaking well of you.

Yeah, I finally fired up the old WordPress back-end and figured I should post something this quarter… Seriously, I didn’t realize until the other day that the last post was way back in early January! Not entirely sure what the heck happened between now and then, however, we’re here now, so on with the show.

At first I really didn’t have much to say about this one other than ‘it’s about time!’, but quickly realized that all though potentially true, it really wasn’t the ideal tone to set when making a comeback… again… My more refined response to someone speaking well of me, was in two parts that kinda landed on top of one another:

  • who am I speaking well of?
  • who am I not speaking well of, and why?

What?! I’m not speaking well of someone? Reality check here people – we all don’t get along, we all don’t have to get along, and we all have different opions of each other that might escape our face from time to time. But who are we speaking well of right now? I guess ultimately, the ‘why’ part of the second question should be placed up with the first question to draw on the… more positive aspects of things… and it’s true, and it also fits with the second question too. Essentially, the fact that you are speaking well of someone is simply (in it’s simplicity – not it’s importance) an indicator of what we need more of in our lives. Sure it sounds kinda like a cliche, but, um, what’s the alternative?

Where it gets a bit tricky is when we look at who we’re not speaking well of – yeah, put the list away for a second – but more importantly, WHY we’re not speaking well of them. It generally has to do with a certain trait (or lack of one) that sets us down the path. Get us around some like-minded individuals who can all recognize this catastrophic ‘trait issue’, and we all natter along until someone feels too guilty about the situation and we all shut up. Yet the kicker to all of this is that if you are able to recognize a good trait in someone, it is because you also posses that trait – if you didn’t already posses it, you wouldn’t be able to recognize it… and you can see where this is going… But wait, how can I recognize the fact that they are lacking a certain trait? If they’re truly lacking it, that would mean that I’m lacking it, yet if I’m lacking it, I don’t posses it, and therefore I can’t recognize it – and your brain explodes.

Picking up the pieces, we now discover that we are in fact looking at the only mirror in the world that will never show you to your face, but will show you yourself, better than you could ever see in a regular mirror.

Someone speaking well of you? Fantastic – you deserve it. Have a list of people you’re not speaking well of? Do you know why? Great, change – you’ve got 5 minutes.

Be well, and speak well.